HOLDING HANDS

His eyes filled with tears, and mind apprehensive, Samar dint even touch the food which was lying before him.  I felt pity for Samar but as a loyal officer held under the arms of law, I dint have any right to look towards a convict with sympathy in my eyes.  Samar was a young guy in his thirties but was going to be hanged in next two hours. 

Samar just drank a cup of water and since I forced him, he ate one piece of Roti out of the two that were thrown before him by the warden.  I was more curious to know his point of view, what had led him into this world of crime?  Being a junior officer, I was not allowed in the court trials and also was forbidden to talk to him.  The pandit came inside the cell and taught Samar about the different ways of ‘dharma’ followed by which he asked Samar for his last wish.  Anxiously, I was looking at Samar to Know about his last wish and I think Samar had seen that anxiousness in my eyes.

“I want 45 minutes of my life, to talk to them who had served me for six years”

Saying so he smiled and pointed at me.  

At once I reported this to my senior and Mr. Karmakar allowed me to fulfil his last wish on a condition that I shall go in with a secret recorder and record this conversation.

I followed his instructions and went inside Samar`s cell.  Samar was getting ready for the death penalty and he welcomed me inside saying-“sorry sir!!  Cannot sit and talk to you, need to finish a lot before going….”

I asked him “You could have asked for something better, why did you want to talk to me in your last wish??”

“Something better !!! …like??” Samar asked while walking towards the tumbler of water.

“Something better, like,  something for your family, money, facilities, or any desires you had,” I said in reply

“Sir, do you know why m I getting this gift of death?” asked Samar

“You are a terrorist and a murder convict!!  You murdered four people brutally, who were supposed to be your friends.” I answered to him.

“Most of the people in this country think like that only…..I tried explaining everybody, but no one understood me!!  Sometimes you need to pay heavy prices to make people understand about friendships!!” said Samar.

“But at a point you yourself confessed in court of law that, you killed your fourth friends preceded by a conflict.  Then your whole logic of justification goes wrong!!”  I said in a uncompromising voice.

“I had always said one thing in my confessions!!  SOMETIMES IT APPEARS TO BE DARK, BUT YOU MIGHT BE FACING THE SINK OF LIGHT!!” said Samar in a much louder voice than mine.

After this he walked towards the water drum, and started bathing.

“So, what led you here?” I asked exquisitely.

Samar looked at me and gave a big smile.  He read Maha Mrityunjay Mantra and looked at me with apprehensive eyes-

“We as Brahmins have strange beliefs, look at me!!  I shall be hanged in another hour, and I am chanting the protective charm of death…”

Saying so he started laughing.  I was puzzled!!  May be the trepidation of death is having a great impact on his brains!!  He stopped laughing after sometime and wore his white colour new shirt which had come from the authorities.  After that he went to switch on the light of the cell so, that we r able to see each other`s face while speaking but it did not work –“ Ahh….This machinery by Indian government…never works when needed…” grumbled Samar.

He came near me and sat down with two deep breaths and started the conversation again- “so, now listen,  last night I saw my mother in my dreams, she was shouting at me,  shouting at me for not conveying the reality to them, for being so altruistic in nature and for having kept these things deep inside….  So I promised her that I shall confess the truth to the most honest person here and I chose….you.”

“What exactly happened six years ago?” I asked Samar.

Samar gave a pause and started:-

“ Haneef, Ashwin,Navin and David…..all five of us were best friends, we did everything together, all of us were in the same college, having fun and everything was going good, I was a photographer and preserved every moment in my home.  Ashwin was a shy guy with lot of feelings hidden inside, Navin was a strict and conservative boy who had anger on the tip of his tongue….both Ashwin and Navin were so opposite in nature but shared everything with each other.  One day all five of us went to  Syria for event coverage, this event changed my life completely……” saying so Samar paused again.  He was continuously looking at the bars….

“Whom are you searching for?” I asked

“nothing!! I was just checking the time!!” said Samar.

“Life is based on regular wars in Syria,  David, me, Ashwin were covering the events there for our documentary, we had special permissions with us, and we wanted to get into internal camps as deep as possible.  This is where we committed a mistake.   All five of us went into different camps!!  I wasn`t in a favour of this but had to agree for the sake of journalism.  Life is next to hell there and then something unanticipated happened!!” 

Samar paused again!!

“All five of us were abducted by a terrorist organisation…. We were kept in one place, tormented day and night, cold ice slabs were our beds and soil had become a part of our food… they wanted us to join them, work for them, and fulfil their missions.”

10 days….. we suffered that torture, finally one day , me , Ashwin, David and Haneef managed to escape but Navin stayed there.  He had broken down before them, we saw him holding guns, and he knew our every hideout.

People say friend`s betrayal is worse than a murder.  He chased us everywhere, finally he caught David, and ruthlessly he fired the bullets in his chest.  Even after David was dead, he kept on firing bullets on him.  There was no humanity in his eyes.  I had to save, Haneef and Ashwin.  Finally we got a hideout for the night, a deserted building.  We stayed there for a night, all of us traumatised.  I made another plan, taking advantage of the civil war; we went to the Human Rights Activists!!  Somehow Haneef convinced them and they were ready to drop us till Lebanon, where we could board a ship and move out.  The Human Rights Activists sent three of their escorts along with two armed men for protection, but as soon as we reached Damascus, the terrorist group along with Navin welcomed us.  We managed to escape from there, but all 5 people escorting us were killed.  We were cornered now; we knew that wherever we shall go we will get trapped, above everything the terrorists had put a mark of their organisation on our palms.”

Saying so Samar pulled up his sleeves and showed the mark of the organisation.  Then he continued

“Ashwin looked at me and made a plan, which I never wanted to be a part of.  He wanted me to kill both of them and win the trust of the terror organisation, so that they don’t doubt on me and believe on my plan to terrorise India.  Then I can betray them and go back to India.  I did not want to do any such thing because if it backfired, then their lives would cost nothing.”

For first time in six years, I saw tears in his eyes, his voice was trembling and I could see what he was looking in the wall clock hung ahead!!  After a brief silence, he continued.

“My worst fear came true!!  Haneef and Ashwin started emotionally attacking me!!  They were requesting death and preferred me to kill them, I broke down, and fearfully I thought if I stab them with broken glass then their wish will be fulfilled.  Slowly I picked up a large broken glass but before I could stab them, Navin discovered our hideout and entered alone, he stood there, for 10 minutes I tried to turn him in my favour, but after 10 minutes, he loaded his gun and shot Haneef and Ashwin.

He turned towards me and said- “I want to live!!  The only way of survival is to kill…kill those against you.”  Saying so he lifted his revolver, I jumped towards him and the revolver fell.  I lifted the revolver and shot Navin!!”

After saying this!!  He took a long pause!!  The clock showed 5:50.  He looked down….

“The only way to reach India was to reach the coast, but if at all I had asked for help from anybody, they would had killed me also, may be in the presumption that I am a terrorist,  but still I managed to reach the coast .  I hijacked a small streamer of coast guards and drove for three days in the sea, and finally near the Indian sea limits, I surrendered myself.”

I was taken aback.  I dint realise the whole point of Samar`s suicidal attempt.  I went ahead and asked him.

“Why dint you tell your story to the Indian government, they would had believed you!!”

Samar just smiled and said- “a man with terror symbol on his hand, a revolver and only one to be alive out of 5 friends….without any evidence…who will believe??  Even you should not believe!! I remember Navin had once said

“5 of us are 5 fingers making one HAND.”

These were the last words of Samar and our conversation, I Came out of the cell,   6:00 am in morning,  Dr. Ranjan had come to check Samar and certified that he is fit to die.  How ridiculous was that? For death also there has to be a fitness test now!!  I went to Mr. Karmakar.  He was so anxious that he was walking from one corner of the room to another waiting for me!!  As soon as he saw me he started to ask questions

“What did he tell, did you record it in the recorder??”

I went ahead and said- “ sir, trust me!!  He is mentally sick,   for 45 minutes, he was talking about his researches in foreign countries!!”

Mr. karmakar took the recorder and started listening to the conversation, but all he could hear is the hymns and Mantras which were being chanted!!

“What nonsense is this, where is the recording?” wrathfully shouted Mr. karmakar.

I just made a surprised face and said- ““ Ahh….This machinery by Indian government…never works when needed…”

At 6:30 the news was delivered to Mr.karmakar that Samar is hanged.  I dint know what to say?  Before ending the conversation with me, Samar had also told me about the addresses of his friends, I went and met their families, they existed, I told them the truth.

Samar had no one to convey in his family, I tried searching for them but couldn`t trace them.  The address in records was an abandoned house.  Possibility is there that his family was aware of this story.

Now I understood Navin`s words-

‘HANDS’ was nothing but an acronym for these five friends:- Haneef, Ashwin, Navin, David and Samar.